Running Through Snow
By Austin Miller-Anderson
When they say “it’s a heartache” they mean it is truly an ache in your heart. It is the worst type of pain in the world. You feel like your heart is going to explode. The feeling of emptiness, feeling of sorrow, the feeling that nobody cares, your body feels like everything inside of you is dying or already dead.
An important quote from the infamous artist Paul McCartney taught and helped me a lot. “When the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer, let it be.” (from “Let It Be” by “The Beatles”)
When I lost the most important thing to me I realized many qualities of life, I learned not to take every day for granted, and that the way you deal with the problems of your life is the most important step out of anything. When I thought I had lost everything I had, I realized in the end that I didn’t, because in the end is when I truly lost everything I had.
Chapter 1: Beginnings
I never thought that one day I would lose everything that is important to me. I never thought that one day I would meet the person I wanted to spend my life with. I never thought that love really existed, especially between two men, but it turns out that what I thought didn’t matter anymore. My thoughts were all wrong.
On a cold December night where the greatest snow on earth resides, were two teenage boys. They were each in separate ends of town, and they had no idea what they were about to embrace upon later that night. Aiden, a smart, very innocent kid was babysitting for a family while they were out for the night, while Jackson, who was also quite smart and was openly gay, was at his small home talking to Aiden online. The two had just started talking recently and they hadn’t met yet. But that was soon to change.
They didn’t know much about each other besides the basics, and wanted to know more about each other. Aiden had never really thought of himself as being gay before and he always had thought he was straight. Although in his heart he knew that he really liked Jackson. Suddenly, a message came on the screen from Jackson saying “We should meet, I want to meet you.” Aiden had never really met someone from the internet before, and he thought about all those reports on the news and from other adults that talk about how dangerous it was to meet someone off of the internet. When it really came down to it though, Aiden really wanted to meet Jackson. Aiden went out on a limb and sent something back saying “Okay, after I am done babysitting I will call you.”
There Aiden sat for the next three hours thinking about what will happen next and how he feels about meeting someone he hardly even knew in the middle of the night. In the middle of these thoughts, Aiden sees a flash from the corner of his eye out the front window and sees the parents of the kids he was watching pulling up in their small white sedan car. His heart skipped a beat because he knew that had meant it was almost time to meet. For a few minutes the parents were inside the house and then the mom pulls out a wrinkled twenty dollar bill that she had left from the bar from her pocket. She gave it to Aiden and they started to make their way back out to the car. While in the car driving through the cold, but very clear winter night, Aiden sent a message to Jackson saying that he was almost home. Aiden saw his house from down the street and as they pulled up to drop him off he began to panic because he had known that it was almost time to meet Jackson. As Aiden exited the car saying goodbye he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he didn’t want to answer just yet because he wanted the mom who had just dropped him off to think he was going straight inside and that he wasn’t up to anything. He walked toward the front door and sees the same flicker in the corner of his eye that he had saw when they pulled up earlier that night. He heard the humming sound of the car engine as it drove away and as the sound began to fade more and more and began to walk back out to the drive way.
Aiden’s phone vibrated once again and when he looked at the message it had said “I am coming down the street right now.” Aiden’s heart skipped a beat once again and he began walking out in the direction that Jackson was coming from. Suddenly in the silent winter night he could hear the crunching sound of footsteps in the snow and slowly propped his head up. For a few seconds nothing was there but he could still hear the footsteps, but then a dark figure begins to turn around the corner of the street in the distance and Aiden stopped where he was for a clear look of what it was. As he focused in with his eyes he realized what he knew to be true and saw that it was indeed Jackson.
Aiden began walking toward Jackson once again and soon enough, they were standing right in front of each other. One square of the sidewalk was raised much higher than the other and it was on the line in the middle of the two squares that they met. It was quite hard to see much because of how dark it was, but once they were walking side by side they could see each other in detail. Aiden only had on a small jacket, and blue jeans, while Jackson had on a pair of blue skinny jeans and a purple zebra patterned coat. Jackson also had long, straight, black hair. It was the first thing that Aiden had noticed about him because he had never seen such perfect hair on a boy before. From then on Aiden had sort of an obsession with Jackson’s hair.
The two walked around the block of Aiden’s neighborhood in silence for about ten minutes when finally Jackson got a conversation going. The first thing that Jackson had asked was “What kind of music do you like?” Before Aiden had time to answer Jackson had already asked another question and said “Do you like Lady Gaga?” Aiden chuckled and replied with a simple “Yes.” Jackson pulled his phone out and began to play the latest song by her. From then on the song was stuck on repeat whenever they would spend time together.
As they kept walking and walking the snow slowly began to fall from the sky. It was quite peaceful until all of a sudden it began to fall like a blizzard. The two began to run through the wind and hard falling snow until they reached the roof over the porch of Aiden’s house. Once they were under that they stood for a few moments in silence and they walked toward the stairs on Aiden’s porch and sat down on them. At first it was awkward, and silent. Aiden was beginning to regret meeting Jackson with nothing to talk about, but then the air became too cold to even be able to think. Jackson looked warm with his thick coat on, but Aiden was the opposite of warm. Aiden was so cold that he reached to Jackson and without hesitation snuggled next to him. Oddly enough, Aiden began to have a good feeling from being so close to Jackson. Soon, the cold temperature wasn’t the cause for the snuggling; it was the feeling that it gave the both of them.
For the next hour or so they sat in the same spot and position without hardly any movement. It was fine for both of them however, because it was a good feeling. But in a matter of time their eyes locked on each other. Thoughts were racing through Aiden’s mind, but Jackson began to move closer towards Aiden. Aiden’s first instinct was to quickly back away but he couldn’t help but move towards Jackson. Their faces were centimeters away when suddenly their lips locked. It had been Aiden’s first kiss and he had no idea what he was doing, but he followed what his heart told him to do and kept his lips locked with Jackson. The kissing began to become more passionate and soon it was more than just a kiss, something rushed throughout Aiden’s body like a bolt of electricity. He had never felt anything like it before, and frankly, that was a good thing. After almost five minutes of kissing the two parted from each other for a few moments to catch a breath. Aiden couldn’t help but smile, and Jackson was also quite happy. One side of Aiden however had felt very different because he didn’t want to admit to himself that he liked a boy. But the other side didn’t care. All that mattered was that Jackson had given him the feeling that he had.
Aiden and Jackson continued to sit close to each other for hours on end until soon they both began to doze off. Both of their legs and bodies were nostalgic for warmth, but they ignored it until it began to get light outside once again. The two realized how late, or in this case early it was and decided that it was time for both of them to make their separate ways to their own beds. Aiden quietly snuck into his house trying to keep from waking his parents up, but once he got inside his parents were already up making breakfast. Aiden’s mother asked “You stayed the night babysitting?” Aiden took the opportunity of getting passed telling where he honestly was and nodded. Aiden went down to his bedroom in the basement with numb feet and as he crawled into bed received a message from Jackson that read “I had the greatest time with you tonight Aiden, I really like you, and I think may be starting to love you.” Aiden was happier than he had ever been and replied back saying “Me too Jackson, get some sleep and I can’t wait to talk to you when I wake up.”
Chapter 2: Anxiety
Chapter 3: Leaving
As the car kept rolling forward and the lights behind them were getting closer. Aiden’s entire body was shaking. How could the first time he has ever been around marijuana already get him in trouble? As the flashing blue and red lights were almost immediately behind the car, Becky began to pull over. The others group was surprisingly calm, not including Aiden. As Becky quickly began to pull over, the car with those unforgettable flashing lights began to pass them. Within seconds the car was racing up the street in front of them with its lights still on. As Aiden realized that the cop wasn’t pulling them over, he felt overjoyed, as if it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. The group laughed, feeling Aiden’s fear beginning to disappear and Becky said with a smile “I told you!”
Minutes later the car was rolling into the driveway of Jackson’s house. The group got out of the car and made their way into the house. Abigail yelled with excitement “Let’s smoke!” as we closed the door to the house. The group was quite excited (not counting Aiden.) As they all continued to Jackson’s bedroom, Abigail grabbed a glass pipe that was orange with blue swirls on it from Jackson’s dresser. It was the first time Aiden had ever seen such a thing, and he was both fascinated yet scared as they began to put that green plant that smelled like a skunk into it. Soon enough the pipe was completely full and they were ready to smoke it. Abigail made a hand motion signaling the group to go smoke with her. As Becky got up to follow her, Aiden began to squeeze Jackson’s hand once again. Sensing Aiden’s nervousness, Jackson told the group to go ahead without him so that he could stay with Aiden. In Aiden’s eyes, this was the sweetest thing that he could ever do for him.
As Jackson and Aiden both heard the door for the garage shut, they suddenly locked eyes like they had just nights before. Jackson grabbed Aiden and held him in his arms until the group came back in, because he knew how scary the day had been so far for him. Aiden was very happy, because he was seeing the side of Jackson that he first met and “fell in love with.” After a few moments of bliss, Aiden had almost completely forgotten what they had just done and didn’t even have anything about the weed on his mind. But this didn’t last long. Soon, the door slammed once again as Abigail and Becky walked back into the house. As they entered Jackson’s room shortly after, there was definitely something different about them. They were smiling for what seemed to be no reason, and they just looked relaxed.
The group went back and forth from the garage for the next few hours, and soon enough Abigail left. Aiden and Jackson were alone and Becky was in her room. The sun was beginning to fade from the sky, and Jackson’s dad was just getting home. As Jackson’s dad made his way to Jackson’s bedroom, he could smell something that was a familiar smell, but that didn’t belong there. He began to yell at the Jackson and his sister, and soon enough a brawl was brought up. The night was still young, and Aiden planned on staying later, but the arguing had gotten to the point where Jackson and Becky felt they needed to leave. The two packed some things and were ready to leave. Aiden wasn’t sure what to do, but he did all that he could do and went along with what the other two were doing.
As their dad began to make his way back to Jackson’s room, Jackson and Becky both began walking out towards the door to leave the house. Aiden simply followed them, and Becky began to drive Aiden back home. As Aiden directed Becky where to go, and they were in front of his house. Jackson got out of the car along with Aiden. Jackson hugged Aiden as if they would never see each other again and said that he will talk to him later.
Aiden was sad because he felt like Jackson wasn’t going to talk to him again. He even tried to send him a message over the phone and he never responded back. An hour or so later, when Aiden was on the internet, he received a message from Jackson finally which said “Aiden, I am going to run away tonight.” Aiden read the message over and over again to make sure he comprehended the message right and began to shed a tear from his eyes.
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